


Stuck

by ghosthorse_tracks



Category: Halt and Catch Fire
Genre: Drug Use, F/F, Infidelity, Season 2
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-08
Updated: 2017-03-08
Packaged: 2018-10-01 07:30:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,707
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10184051
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ghosthorse_tracks/pseuds/ghosthorse_tracks
Summary: "You know, sometimes I can't tell if you're more like my mom or my girlfriend."





	

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this back in season 2 times, and even then I was playing fast and loose with canon. Regardless, I hope you enjoy! ♥

"Donna."

Cameron's office was dark save the cold light from her monitor. The other coders had passed out on the floor or at their desks hours ago.

Soft footsteps preceded Donna's appearance in the doorway. "What is it?" When Cameron failed to respond immediately, she made her way into the room with long, graceful strides. "Please, I have to go home soon. Gordon's probably wondering where I am."

"I'm stuck." She had been too busy battling User85 while the other coders were working, so she was trying to do her work now. But her code had hit a dead end; any attempt to fix it felt like slamming her head into a brick wall. She knew exactly what she needed: something to clear her mind. Joe had always done it before.

Donna raised an eyebrow, unaware of the layered meaning of 'stuck'. "I don't know if I can help you, but I can try. Let me have a look." She tried to peek at the monitor, but Cameron waved her away.

"No, Donna - I'm _stuck_." Her voice and countenance brimmed with urgency, blue eyes burning. Maybe this was a bad idea, Cameron thought.

"Would a drink calm your nerves? I think there's beer in the fridge." Donna motioned to the doorway and the kitchen beyond it. "Or, better yet, maybe you should get some sleep."

Cameron looked at Donna, looked at her long legs clad in blue jeans and her plaid shirt so perfectly Texas. She ached with want. Now was not the time, she told herself, but the time would come - she was sure of it. "Yeah, maybe I just need some sleep."

***

"God, I needed this. Thanks for coming out here with me," Cameron muttered between gulps of beer. She and Donna had sprung for a trip to the local bar after a night of hard work as they often did. These trips were frequent enough to fit into a routine, yet still uncommon enough to feel special.

Donna laughed, taking a sip from her own bottle. "You know I like to relax as much as you do."

"You know, sometimes I can't tell if you're more like my mom or my girlfriend."

The statement caught Donna off guard, but she laughed it off before the silence became awkward. Both of the labels Cameron had just bestowed upon her unsettled her. She already had daughters - and a husband.

A husband, or what passed for one. She loved Gordon, but sometimes she wondered why. She wondered why she stayed for years with a man who frequently drank to excess, oscillated between barely working and obsessively working, and often had nervous breakdowns. Chalking it up to love wasn't enough anymore.

"Hey, I'm sorry if I confused you the other night."

"I don't know what you mean."

"When I told you I was stuck."

"Oh, that." Why was this so awkward? Donna thought. There was nothing unusual about getting stuck from time to time. "It's okay, it wasn't a big deal."

Cameron's face twisted into an unfamiliar expression, girlish and mischievous. "I used to tell Joe when I was stuck. But he's not around anymore, so..." She shrugged her shoulders and trailed off as her mouth met the bottle once more.

"So you told me instead."

"Joe used to help me get unstuck."

"He did, hmm? How?"

"If I told you, you'd probably call me white trash again." Her tone carried a bitterness Donna didn't expect - she had thought they had forgiven each other's first impressions long ago.

The implications of 'I'm stuck' hit Donna just then. How had it taken her so long to figure out? She tried to smile and laugh, like she always did, but her facade was cracking. "Cameron, I'm sorry. I don't think you're white trash, but I - I can't do this for you. You're asking too much."

Cameron looked at her with pleading eyes. "You're not my boss or anything. Remember? There are no bosses at Mutiny. So, if that's what's stopping you..."

"It's not just that. It's Gordon, my kids, everything I have. Our relationship needs to stay professional. I'm not like Joe, okay?" Her feelings about the situation progressed from confusion to irritation to disgust. She could never be as unscrupulous as Joe, taking advantage of a co-worker many years her junior.

"Are you serious? What has Gordon ever done for you or your kids? He's drunk and psychotic."

"You have no right to talk about Gordon that way. You don't even know him." Donna got up and slammed her chair into the table. "I'm done arguing with you."

***

Cameron sat at her desk with her head in her hands, brooding. The lines of code on her screen swam around until she couldn't bear to look at them anymore. Even when she closed her eyes, lines of glowing green text swam around in her head, smashing into each other violently until all her thoughts were jumbled. Only one coherent thought remained: Donna loved Gordon, and nothing would ever change that, certainly not some skinny punk she worked with and barely tolerated. 

Work was unusually quiet that day - the coders worked diligently and without complaint; the power company was momentarily content thanks to Donna.

Donna. Cameron couldn't seem to get her out of her mind. Of course, it was always the quiet days when she found herself getting stuck.

A memory of Joe flashed through her mind, a time they had played with electricity. Sometimes she missed how wild they both were, how their love of experimentation brought them closer. Even though he was fake and noncommittal and generally awful as a person, he was good in bed if nothing else. If she recalled correctly, he was also good on floor and desk and wall...

"Hey, Cameron, I'm going home early today, if you don't mind." Donna rested her weight against the doorframe, and even in the dim light, Cameron could see the dark circles under her eyes.

"Yeah, that's fine. You deserve a break." As Donna slowly turned to walk away, Cameron added, "Thanks for getting things sorted out with the power company. It means a lot to me."

Donna smiled, unreadable. Years of being a wife, mother, and employee had taught her the fine art of pretending that nothing is wrong. "It's really no problem. Anything for Mutiny."

Anything for Mutiny. Except maybe getting Cameron off every few days.

"See you tomorrow."

***

Donna arrived home to find everything just as it should be. The kids were nowhere to be found, which meant that Gordon must have already put them to bed. She checked their rooms: there they were, fast asleep.

The dishes were done, and the house was spotless aside from its usual clutter, a symptom of its status as a residence of two engineers. She was relieved to find everything already done. The steady tick-tick-tick of the clock's second hand permeated the air, with nothing else to fill it. Donna felt the pulse in her wrist quicken.

"Gordon? Gordon, are you home?" Silence.

He wasn't asleep in the bedroom, nor was he working in the garage. She knew he wouldn't leave the kids at home alone, especially since she hadn't told him she would be coming home earlier than usual. The only room she hadn't searched was the basement.

She pushed the door open just a crack, careful not to make a sound. Finally, she heard something - the faintest sound of an inhale, followed by a contented sigh. Another inhale, another sigh, over and over until Donna just had to look.

Gordon leaned against the basement counter, facing away from the basement stairs, breathing hard. "Oh God, yes." He pulled a vial of white powder out of his pocket, rolled it between his fingers.

Donna slammed the basement door behind her.

***

"Back so soon?" Cameron basked in the artificial glow of her monitor, though the keyboard lay silent. Somehow, falling asleep at her machine made her feel more productive than falling asleep in her bed, even if she didn't get anything done.

"Are you still stuck?"

"I guess, yeah, but I thought -"

"I want to help you. I want to help you right now."

Cameron smiled deviously - as if she could smile any other way. "Close the door."

Donna's mouth tasted so good, like wine and lipstick, things Cameron wouldn't be caught dead bringing to her lips. Donna kissed slowly and deliberately, with playful flicks of her tongue peppered in for fun. She kissed like an engineer, methodical and rhythmic and constantly tinkering, changing something here or there to make Cameron squirm.

Cameron pulled away to catch her breath, smirking. "I'll bet you've kissed a girl before."

"Maybe." She glanced off to the side, perhaps remembering the last time she had done it. Her hands lingered on Cameron's waist. "Have you?"

"Only when I was drunk. I think we all experimented a little in college, though," Cameron laughed.

They moved to the bedroom where Cameron almost never slept. Cameron lay down first. "Get up here."

Donna kicked off her shoes and followed.

***

"You're so beautiful," Donna murmured. She and Cameron lay side by side, both spent and still undressed.

"Thanks." Cameron dragged her fingers across Donna's skin, from her hipbone up to her neck. Donna shuddered at the soft touch. "You have great tits. Does Gordon appreciate them like I do?"

Donna gave Cameron a playful slap, but her smile was strained. "Hey, don't push it. You know I'm only here because I caught Gordon snorting coke in the basement, right?"

"For real? I always thought he was just your garden-variety alcoholic." When Donna said nothing, Cameron moved closer and rested her head in the hollow of Donna's neck. The room was quiet, peaceful. "I'm really sorry about Gordon. If you don't want to do this again, I totally understand."

Donna sighed and buried her face in her hands. This couldn't be happening, no, not to her. Cheating on her cokehead husband with some punk college kid. Wasn't it too early for a midlife crisis?

"It's okay," Cameron whispered, gently stroking Donna's head. "I won't ask you to get me unstuck again."

Somewhere far below her consciousness, Donna knew it was a lie. And maybe she didn't mind.


End file.
